Rochester Named One of the Least Caffeinated Cities in America. Terry Tate Knows Why.

According to a study by Men’s Health, Rochester ranks as one of the least caffeinated cities in the United States, coming in 97th, just in front of Buffalo, Lincoln, N.E., and Detroit. The most caffeinated? Yonkers, N.Y., followed by Anaheim and San Francisco. Rochester is also about ten positions behind Fargo, N.D., twenty positions behind Bangor, M.E., and a whopping fifty spots behind Anchorage. Here are the full rankings.

The magazine gathered statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau and Simmons Research among other sources, so it seems pretty legitimate. The data they used includes the number of Starbucks per capita, local sales of soda and energy drinks, and even rates of insomnia and sleep disorders among adults. It’s hard to tell if it’s a 100% accurate measure of which population has on average the most caffeine racing through their systems, because just last November, a different study found the most caffeinated city to be Chicago.

Others have started theorizing about why their city ranks so low, including Mike McIntyre, a writer for The Plain Dealer in Cleveland. He wonders if all the city’s potholes are the reason, as many people might be afraid of hitting one and spilling hot coffee all over themselves.

I have my own theory as to why Rochester is ranked so low. It’s because no one ever remembers to refill the coffee pot after taking the last cup. It’s like Terry Tate says, “You kill the joe, you make some mo’.” Then we start climbing the rankings.

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